SAFE BlogArchive

Primetime set up actors in a park to see what would happen if a woman was physically assaulting her male partner in public.

The results are not surprising but are reflective of most people's reactions to the plight of domestic abuse victims who are male.

If this situation was a man assaulting a woman, there is no doubt that the reactions of the public would be and in fact are VERY different!

Contact PrimeTime to thank them for this story and perhaps tell your story as a male victim of domestic abuse. PrimeTime does state in their story that there are at least 800,000 serious cases of abused MEN yearly and that it's is most likly that many more have not reported it.

Maybe if Primetime knew how serious the gender bias is regarding domestic abuse they would do an in depth story and help to bring this issue more prominently into the mainstream.

My perspective is that we are ALL human and abuse is abuse. No one deserves it, abuse is against the law, assault causes an individual and their family pain and hardship, and abusers need to be held accountable...all of this regardless of gender!

I will be contacting Primetime as the Executive Director of SAFE to offer our assistance and to encourage them to do more stories like this.
If you are a male victim and want to "tell your story" or be a part of the information we give to the Primetime staff, please e-mail me your information.

I will keep your name confidential but I WILL tell your story. You will only need to give your name if you decide to do something on camera for them at some point, and for that permission to release your name, I would contact you directly. Your name will go no futher than me unless you give me written permission on our release of information form from my office here at SAFE.

PLEASE E-MAIL,FAX OR MAIL YOUR INFORMATION,DO NOT CALL.
Our phone lines are busy with crisis calls and we only have a handful of volunteer advocates so we can't take massive amounts of calls coming in about this.
I anticipate many men and their families coming forward at this time, so please write, give me some history of your situation and include your contact number in case I need to talk to you directly.

Thanks in advance,
Lee Newman
Executive Director: Stop Abuse For Everyone


Please send your info. to me using any of the following ONLY:
My e-mail: lee@safe4all.org
SAFE-NH Fax: 603-297-0244
SAFE International Fax: 319-937-0096
SAFE-NH (mailing address)
P O Box 523
Rochester, NH 03867

This is a pretty decent column on abused men:

Independent Online, South Africa - Nov 21, 2006 ... Poor Ed. If his situation is anything like other abused men, he'll have suffered for a long time - probably starting with verbal abuse. ...

Part two in an article about abused men. I haven't been able to locate part 1.

Although it quotes some questionable statistics, this article is interesting because it shows the trend towards offering services for abused men.

We're not asking for men to get treatment at the expense of women. We're asking for men and women, gay and straight, to receive services under the same criteria.

From a colleague:

All the problems that abused women face are shared by male victims, but
with a twist. Female assailants sometimes exploit the stereotypes in the
social services and justice systems to their advantage.

The StatsCan report says, “Overall, women were two-and-a-half times as
likely as men to report the most serious forms of violence, such as
being beaten, choked, threatened with a gun or knife, and sexually
assaulted.” But the estimated number of men who suffered attacks of this
severity over a five-year period was 89,000, markedly less than the
254,000 women, but a number that Waters says should draw more attention.

THE APA President acknowledges that violence is equally likely for men and women in relationships:

Several studies of domestic violence have suggested that males and females in relationships have an equal likelihood of acting out physical aggression, although differing in tactics and potential for causing injury (e.g., women assailants will more likely throw something, slap, kick, bite, or punch their partner, or hit them with an object, while males will more likely beat up their partners, and choke or strangle them). In addition, data show that that intimate partner violence rates among heterosexual and gay and lesbian teens do not differ significantly.

Article on DV by Glenn Sacks.

Lancaster Newspapers, PA - 51 minutes ago ... Thousands are killed. “Ninety-five percent of those victims are women,” she said. “But we do provide services to battered men.”. ...

Statistics aren't really correct, but at least they are serving everyone.

From the desk of Lee Newman, Executive Director: SAFE International
Announcement: October 27, 2006
SAFE International and SAFE-NH take a stand along with numerous National and International organizations by signing this UN Resolution in response to the UN Secretary General’s biased study on “Violence Against Women”.

More organizations are signing daily!

If your organization wishes to add your name, please contact:
Lee Newman directly with your request at lee@safe4all.org and we will forward your info. to the appropriate contacts.

Please read the Press Release from 10/23/06 & the UN Resolution below.

2 Internationally respected “experts” who are part of our “team”
at SAFE speak out along with SAFE's Executive Director.
Dr. Murray Straus- Member of SAFE-NH’s Advisory Board
Professor Donald Dutton-Member of the SAFE International Speaker’s Bureau


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 23, 2006
Contact: David Usher: 314-452-2297; info@mediaradar.org


UN Violence Report Criticized as Deliberately Biased

Rockville, MD – Leading family violence researchers around the world are disputing the partner violence conclusions of the recent United Nations report, Secretary-General’s Study on Violence Against Women. The UN study probes the issue of violence directed against women and recommends strategies to combat abuse.

But leading scientists say the report’s approach to partner abuse is fundamentally flawed, and its recommended solutions will not solve the problem of partner aggression.


Lee Newman, Executive Director, SAFE International
and the Director of SAFE-New Hampshire makes note that,
"The UN’s Report ignores the plight and pain of the majority of victims who ask us for assistance every day. In effect this report “sanctions” male victims and ignores the terrorism in their lives simply because they are men. SAFE is a human rights organization that provides outreach, education, crisis level intervention and support for ALL victims of Intimate Partner Violence and Domestic Abuse. In order to live up to our name and our mission we must speak out against the content of this UN Report!"

Dr. Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, notes, “The UN report’s discussion on domestic violence is biased because it deliberately ignores half the problem – female perpetrators. Ending violence against women by male partners is not going to be achieved until women also desist.”
(SAFE-NH Advisory Board member)

Felicity Goodyear-Smith, a physician-researcher at the University of Auckland in New Zealand, believes men and women alike are ill-served by the report: “Studies consistently show that throughout the Western world, men and women initiate physical violence at about equal rates, and frequently partner violence is reciprocal. Portraying inter-partner violence as though it only involves male perpetrators and female victims does both men and women a disservice.”

Donald Dutton, professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia believes many studies of intimate partner abuse do not meet even minimum standards of scientific validity: “Much domestic violence research conducted in North America has been so biased that it might be called ‘junk science.’ It has used selective data and interpreted results in a way that depicts all males as real or potential perpetrators, while downplaying female violence.”
(SAFE Speaker’s Bureau member)

Nicola Graham-Kevan, PhD, senior lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire in England, believes that following the report’s recommendations will only allow the problem of spousal abuse to persist: “Research on intimate partner violence consistently finds that men and women use similar types of aggression. By ignoring the mutual nature of much partner violence, the UN ensures that both women and men will continue to be victimised in this way.”


Nearly 200 studies around the world show that men and women are equally likely to engage in partner aggression: www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm . Psychologist John Archer has reported that 38% of persons injured by domestic violence are male.


RADAR – Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting – is a non-profit, non-partisan organization working to assure that the problem of domestic violence is treated in a balanced and effective manner: www.mediaradar.org



RESOLUTION

Regarding the UN Study on Violence Against Women

1. Whereas, the World Health Organization has reported that twice as many men die from violence-related causes as women,
2. Whereas, men are more than three-times more likely than women to die from injuries sustained from armed conflict,1
3. Whereas, 3.5 times as many men commit suicide worldwide as women, 1
4. Whereas, in almost every country around the world, men have shorter life expectancies than women, reaching a 13-year disparity in the Russian Federation,
5. Whereas, a compilation of 195 scientific studies of partner violence concludes, “women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with spouses or male partners,”
6. Whereas, according to a Statistics Canada report, 7% of women and 6% of men report violence by a current or previous partner in the previous five years.
7. Whereas, according to a recent international study of severe violence among dating couples, 55% was mutual violence, 16% was male-only, and 29% of violence was female-only.
8. Whereas, the president of the American Psychological Association has recently noted that “Several studies of domestic violence have suggested that males and females in relationships have an equal likelihood of acting out physical aggression,”
9. Whereas, reports from Africa reveal that domestic violence against men is widespread, but men are reluctant to report the abuses, ,

And
10. Whereas, the United Nations recently released the Secretary-General’s Study on Violence Against Women,
11. Whereas, the report ignores the fact that half of all partner violence is mutual, and glosses over the problem of male victimization altogether,
12. Whereas, the report uses misandrous and inflammatory language such as “patriarchal” in falsely stereotyping men,
13. Whereas, leading family violence researchers around the world have criticized the report’s portrayal of domestic violence as being “biased” and ensuring “that both women and men will continue to be victimised in this way,”

And
14. Whereas, programs similar to those proposed by the Secretary-General’s report have caused undesirable outcomes for women,
15. Whereas, the report fails to require persons who allege domestic violence to provide objective evidence of abuse, and false allegations are known to result in harm to children,
16. Whereas, the report also calls for stronger law enforcement and prosecution efforts, which have been shown to result in widespread violations of due process protections,
17. Whereas, the result of such domestic violence programs has been to weaken families, bias divorce proceedings, and deprive children of contact from their fathers.

Therefore, the undersigned organizations urgently call on the Third Committee to:

1. Simply “Note” (but not “Welcome”) the recent Secretary-General’s report.
2. Discourage implementation of the recommendations of the Study on Violence Against Women until its effects on families and children are analyzed and understood.
3. Request incoming UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon to undertake a counterpart Study on Violence against Men.


Mark Rosenthal
RADAR: Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting




International
Lee Newman
SAFE International
(Stop Abuse for Everyone)

Australia:
Tony Miller
Dads in Distress

Barry Williams
Lone Fathers’ Association

Micheal Woods
Men’s Health Information & Resource Centre

Sue Price
Men’s Rights Agency

Edward Dabrowski
Shared Parenting Council of Australia

Canada:
Earl Silverman
Family of Men Support Society

Kris Titus
Fathers for Justice – Canada

Brian Johnson
Regina Shared Parenting Network

Ireland:
Nora Bennis
Mothers At Home

Roger Eldridge
National Men's Council of Ireland

Netherlands:
Peter A.N. Tromp
Familyrights4Europe

New Zealand:
Jim Bailey
HandsOnEqualParent Trust

United Kingdom:
Stephen Fitzgerald
The ManKind Initiative

United States of America
Mike McCormick
American Coalition for Fathers and Children

David Usher
American Coalition for Fathers and Children – Missouri

Tom Smith
American Union for Men

Harry Crouch
California Men’s Center, San Diego


Sally Jacobs
Center for Children’s Justice - Carolinas Chapter

James Hays
Coalition of Fathers and Families, NY

Mark Charalambous
CPF/The Fatherhood Coalition

Paul Clements
DADD-NH

Bruce Eden
Dads Against Discrimination (DADS)--New Jersey

James Semerad
DADS and MOMS of Michigan

Michael Burns
Dialogue on Sustainable Community

George Gilliland
Domestic Rights Coalition

Charles Corry, PhD
Equal Justice Foundation

Angela Pedersen
“Father:” A Child’s Right

Mike East
F.A.T.H.E.R.S.

Jeff Golden
Fathers' and Children's Equality (FACE)

Dan Hogan
Fathers and Families

Alan Rusmisel
Fathers 4 Justice

Carl Steppling
Florida Coalition for Families and Children

Don Mathis
The Fourteen Percenter


Alan Millard
Men and Fathers for Justice

Tom Golden
Men’s Equality Conference

Michael G. Rother
National Coalition of Free Men
Deborah Watkins
National Coalition of Free Men-- Dallas/Fort Worth Chapter

Marc Angelucci
National Coalition of Free Men—
Los Angeles Chapter

Judith Brumbaugh
Restoration of the Family

Debra Roy/Joanie Comeau
SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone)-NH

Pastor Kenneth Deemer
Shattered Men

Teri Stoddard
Shared Parenting Works

Lisa Scott
TABS: Taking Action against Bias in the System

Terri Lynn Tersak
True Equality Network

Pete Kerr
Walk for Children

It's not just in the United States.

The Suburban, Canada - Oct 18, 2006 ... manslaughter. What is the message here? How can abused women — or abused men, for that matter — trust the system to protect them? Police ...

Desicritics.org, India - Oct 11, 2006 ... So, cornering abused men by not allowing them to release their emotions can prove to be fatal for themselves and the people abusing them. ...

Lake County Record-Bee, CA - Oct 10, 2006 ... on couches and floors. Battered men do not stay at the shelter, but are housed in local hotels, said LFRC staff. Smith said that ...

Charlotte Sun-Herald, FL - Oct 6, 2006 ... place of their own.". Unlike many shelters that only help women, DASH offers assistance to battered men as well. Along with another ...

Louisville Courier-Journal, KY - Oct 4, 2006 ... Their website is www.acfc.org. Glenn Sacks serves on the advisory board of Stop Abuse for Everyone, an international domestic violence organization.

The SAFE upsite was upgraded on the evening of September 28th. The
upgrade includes some improvements to privacy on the SAFE forums [1],
and fixes to other small issues.

Emails originating from the SAFE forums now do not identify the
sender's email address, which is important for privacy reasons.

[1] http://www.safe4all.org/forums

SAFE Speaker and Victims Advocate, Stanley Green has been invited to
speak on October 23rd for a half day conference at Fort Sill,
Oklahoma through their family Advocacy Program.
Their audience will be primarily professionals in fields that come
into contact with people who have experienced DV. (Counselors,
advocates, medical staff, chaplains and law enforcement.)

The Stop Abuse For Everyone website has been growing quickly, with
more and more people registering on the site. We're close to 3000
registered members of the website, and the SAFE forums have been
buzzing with activity recently.

The most active forum is the Support and Discussion forum:
http://www.safe4all.org/forums/forum-view?forum%5fid=6756

The News and Views forum is also very popular:
http://www.safe4all.org/forums/forum-view?forum%5fid=13398

And the SAFE blog has been seeing a lot of activity recently:
http://www.safe4all.org/blog

The other thing people have been doing more of is posting their local
resources:
http://www.safe4all.org/resource-list
We're up to 663 resources and counting. People have been leaving more
comments on these resources as well, helping other people by
correcting information that is inaccurate.

C21Media, UK - Sep 14, 2006 ... Domestic abuse documentary Battered Men (1x60’), another Five show, takes a look at the male victims of female violence, featuring dramatic reconstruction of ...

Men are victims too.

It's the message more domestic violence experts locally and statewide are trying to get out.

And it's a fact becoming more evident by the growing number of male victims reporting cases of abuse.

According a 1988 report by the state Attorney General's Office, just 6 percent of those arrested for domestic violence were women. By 1998, the total had risen to 16.5 percent.

Last month alone, women accounted for half of the six domestic violence arrests in Calaveras County, according to sheriff's reports.

And so far this year, the percentage of women arrested for spousal abuse is up slightly from last year's figure.

In 2005, about 22 percent of the 114 people arrested in the county for domestic violence were women.

While increases in female arrests are small, experts in the field are taking notice of the trend and trying to figure out what might be causing it.

"I believe men are becoming more outspoken now and are coming in more now," said Cindy Landreth, domestic violence manager at the Calaveras Crisis Center in San Andreas.

This is a collection of advice for men that are involved in particularly nasty divorces. Sometimes abusers will use the system against the person they are abusing, so this is a good guide in many ways to staying out of trouble with the legal system.

The article is targeted at men who are fair parties or the victims in the divorce.

Contra Costa Times, CA - Aug 27, 2006 ... Back then, there were no shelters for battered men. And police were often not inclined to get involved in household disputes involving same-sex couples. ...

Melbourne Herald Sun, Australia - Sep 3, 2006 WHY is the plight of sexually abused men, as opposed to boys, girls and women, rarely recognised and discussed? The controversial ...

Nearly 20 years later, as gays and lesbians have achieved greater recognition, so too has the darker side of same-sex relationships.

After years of fighting what one service provider called an ``invisible epidemic,'' lawmakers and government agencies are taking steps to abandon the assumption that spousal abuse does not occur in couples of the same gender.

Stop Abuse For Everyone has been conducting an email campaign where
we inform websites all over the internet when they have incorrect or
misleading information about domestic violence on their site.

We received this reply from the Seattle Department of Human
Services:

We have received your communication and will take it into
consideration as we update web content.

The page in question is here:
http://www.seattle.gov/humanservices/dv/dvinfo.htm#dv5_1

Stop Abuse For Everyone would like to thank Ana Maria Bayne for
editing the abused gay men's brochure and abused men's brochure in
Romanian. SAFE would also like to thank Canceu Roxana for the
original work on the translation.

''We are so appreciative of the work of volunteers like Ana Maria
Bayne and Canceu Roxana. Volunteers make a tremendous difference to
an organization like Stop Abuse For Everyone, and to the people we
serve. Thousands of people will be affected by these people taking a
few minutes from their busy life to help out others. We really
appreciate their work'', said Jade Rubick, president of Stop Abuse
For Everyone.

SAFE brochures go through a quality control process before they are
printed and made available. After they are translated, they are then
edited once or twice, and then they are available for order. If
you're interested in helping with translation and editing efforts,
please

volunteer as a translator
http://www.volunteermatch.org/results/opp_detail.jsp?oppid=128250

or

volunteer as a foreign-language editor
http://www.volunteermatch.org/results/opp_detail.jsp?oppid=129073

You can also see the status of the translation effort
(http://www.safe4all.org/translate/brochures).

The following brochures are currently being produced:

* abused men's brochure
* abused gay men's brochure
* abused lesbian's brochure

Latest statistics on domestic violence in Australia. Includes abused men as well, apparently after heavy criticism for not including it initially.

Welcome Lee Newman, new Executive Director of SAFE!

The wife of a former Seahawks defensive lineman could be charged with domestic violence after she was arrested on suspicion of punching her husband in the nose, according to court records.

King County sheriff's deputies were called Sunday to Chad Eaton's home in the 12900 block of 167the Ave. N.E., outside of Redmond. According to a police report, Eaton's 33-year-old wife punched the former defensive tackle in the nose, causing it to bleed.

< The woman was arrested at about 3 p.m. Eaton called 9-1-1. Eaton's wife admitted to deputies that she struck her 6-foot-5 husband because she thought he was cheating on her, according to a police report.

She was booked into the King County Jail on suspicion of misdemeanor assault and released without bail following a Monday court appearance. The Seattle P-I typically does not name suspects unless they have been charged.

Dan Donohoe, spokesman for the King County prosecutor's office, said the investigation was expected to continue a few more days before prosecutors reach a charging decision.

Sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart said no weapons were involved and that the woman was taken into custody under the state's mandatory arrest law, which requires police to arrest domestic violence suspects.

Eaton, 34, is a Puyallup native who played for Washington State University and the New England Patriots before coming to Seattle for three seasons. The Seahawks released the defensive tackle in 2004 after he failed a physical due to a knee problem that forced him to miss the prior season.

He now works for Seattle Fox affiliate KCPQ as a commentator. Deputies recorded his wife's size at 5 feet 4 inches tall and 130 pounds, according to sheriff's office reports. During his playing days, Eaton's weight was around 300 pounds.

Pahrump Valley Times, NV - 3 hours ago ... in 2004 were violent in nature, said Debora Ratcliff, the sexual assault advocate at Pahrump's No To Abuse, a social service agency for abused men and women. ...

This is a new resource for abused men:
http://www.safe4all.org/resource-list/view/51595

The other victims of domestic violence Greenwood Index Journal, SC - Aug 5, 2006 ... And while some might quickly assume those victims are women, the Department of Justice study, available on the Battered Men Domestic Violence Web site ... This reflects a slow but growing national movement towards offering inclusive services.

Contains a quote by Earl Silverman, who runs a support group for abused men in Alberta, Canada:

A new study indicates that only 28 percent of domestic abuse victims call the police for help, and that men are only half as likely to report the abuse they receive than women.

Based on incidents that occurred between 1995 and 2004, the Statistics Canada report found that spousal abuse that is brought to the attention of the police is less likely to escalate to more serious forms of violence.

The last three months has seen more people registering for the SAFE
website than ever before.

We're now up to 2744 website members (as of August 1st, 2006), and
growing rapidly.

We're happy to see this site become a place for people to seek help
and information on domestic violence.

Jade

Admits men are abused, then proceeds to use a gendered approach to DV:

Psychiatric Times, CA - Jul 29, 2006 ... This paper draws on the work of Norwood, Forward and Torres, and Engel. Both men and women abuse and are abused. Men most frequently abuse women (Jones). ...

Lakeland Ledger, FL - Jul 20, 2006 ... University of South Carolina. However, the number of battered men in the United States is still lower than women. The five-month ...

News Courier, AL - 7 hours ago By Jean Cole. She credits the Give Back a Smile a program, which gives free cosmetic dental care to battered men and women. A medical ...

My name is Laurel. I am a student at Oregon State University majoring
in Anthropology. I am writing a paper on abused men for one of my
classes. Being as this is an anthropology course I will be focusing on
sociocultural factors involved in this subject. My focus is the men, not the female abusers. To do this social problem justice I need to make contact
with and be able to interview men who would be willing to share their
experiences and thoughts with me. I will respect anonymity if that is wished and
treat this topic with respect and sensitivity. Please contact me if you would be willing to contribute to my research. Thank you.

laurellacey@hotmail.com

Studies show young women becoming more violent with partners Sun-Sentinel.com, FL - Jul 19, 2006 ... University of South Carolina. However, the amount of battered men in the United States is still lower than women. The five-month ...

It features SAFE speaker Stanley Green:

Shedding light on sexual violence
http://www.dailybruin.ucla.edu/news/articles.asp?id=37218

This is an interview with Erin Pizzey, one of the founders of the women's shelter movement in England.

Horribly slanted view on those that want services to be provided based not on what type of person you are (man, woman, gay, or straight), but on the severity of your experience.

Misleading statistics, and a thin veneer of academic rigor.

So fearful of wife he
... Bathes in the dark
... Doesn't make noise at home
... Locks himself in bedroom at night

So fierce she...

... Hits him with stool
... Bashes him till he loses hearing
... Threatens to lie to cops he raped her

Stop Abuse for Everyone was approved as an official membership
organization by a three-quarters vote of the members of the
Washington County Domestic Violence Intervention Council. (Washington
County is the second largest population county in Oregon). SAFE
representatives have been attending meetings of this group for about
six months. There was some opposition to SAFE membership in this
group which is made up of domestic violence service agencies both
public and private non-profit and District Attorneys, Judges and
police agencies. However, the retiring chair (Judge Campbell) spoke
up in our favor and a District Attorney representative reminded the
group that public officials can not ethically discriminate against a
particular group of victims. After the vote a member of a police
department asked for copies of our brochures and potential
cooperation with another non-profit agency was explored. SAFE
considers this important work as we further develop a presence in
Oregon and it goes along with our mission to change hearts and minds
to Stop Abuse For Everyone.

CONCORD, N.H. --A University of New Hampshire researcher says efforts to help victims of domestic violence too often portray men only as abusers, and frequently overlook their more common role as the abused.

This group appears to offer services for abused men, in Batesville, Arkansas:

https://www.safe4all.org/resource-list/view/50571

Batesville Daily Guard (subscription), AR - Jun 26, 2006 ... County agency and community-based project that provides safe shelter, counseling and other support services (such as legal aid) to battered men, women and ...

Foster’s Daily Democrat
Monday, June 19, 2006
UNH research: Young women often the aggressors in domestic abuse
By THOMAS R. KRESSLERDemocrat Staff Writer
DOVER : New research from an acclaimed University of New Hampshire family violence expert suggests what some might call a radical shift in domestic violence trends that young women are responsible for more of it than young men, and that violence among both partners is the most frequent pattern.But a radical shift in how society views domestic violence is what Murray Straus, founder and co-director of UNH's Family Research Laboratory, is aiming for.

"We have a big debt to the women's movement for bringing this to the public's attention but only for men hitting women. Now we have to focus our attention on women hitting men, and make a big deal out of that. Make it just as offensive, just as reprehensible for a woman to slap a man's face as it is for man to hit a woman's face," Straus said.But some involved with domestic violence say the findings do not clarify the nature of the violence. Battery, violence that is ongoing and used to control the victim, is still a man versus woman phenomenon, many say.

Straus' new research, which took five years to compile, samples university aged males and females from 32 countries, querying about each respondent's behaviors and experiences with partner violence. He presented the findings at a conference in New York City last month.The findings indicate that the most common pattern of partner violence is where both are violent toward each other, with the second most common when a woman acts as the primary aggressor, and the least common when a man is the primary aggressor."It's because a lot of men follow the rule, of never hit a woman, but then when she keeps it up that breaks down and eventually they both become violent," Straus said. "And there are cases where you just have some mean son of a [expletive] who's beating her up but those cases are the most rare."

According to Straus' research, with few exceptions, women are hitting men more than the other way around, but he says from the age of 30 and up, men and women perform acts of violence against their partners at roughly the same rate."It's a relationship problem, not as the predominant thinking goes, a male dominance pattern," Straus said. "You can't fix a relationship problem by attending only to half of a relationship. You get men in these batterer treatment programs and they deliberately ignore what the woman is doing in fact it is considered outrageous to even ask."

Straus said the findings can alter how domestic violence is treated by professionals. "We should start with the assumption that they are both doing it," Straus said. "The results of this study suggest that one of the reasons why the treatment methods are not very effective are because they are ignoring half of the problem."

Grace Mattern, Executive Director of the New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence, says the violence measured by Straus is different from what is seen most commonly at shelters in the state situations where a woman is victimized over a long period of time by her male partner.Mattern said there are in fact couples where aggression is mutual and there are no clear batterers."But when you talk about who are the victims of coercive control, reinforced with extensive physical violence, it is primarily women. When our organization talks about domestic violence, we are talking about an ongoing pattern of coercive control," she said.Mattern acknowledges that men are victims of domestic violence, and says the coalition is open to helping whoever needs it.But, "there is a gender aspect to this the primary victim of ongoing violence and coercive control are women."

The findings from Straus indeed fly in the face of national crime statistics, which indicate women are far more often the victims of domestic violence than men, but many presume that men are less likely to report the crimes. Most national movements against domestic violence continue to operate under the assumption the primary victims of domestic violence are women and their children.

But Lee Newman, founder and executive director of Stop Abuse For Everyone's New Hampshire chapter, has been reaching out to heterosexual men affected by domestic violence, as well as other underserved populations, for years.

SAFE-NH provides a 24-hour crisis line, peer advocacy and counseling, and other services."The perspective we have is that it's more of a human issue rather than a gender issue and that's what sort of sets us apart from most of the mainstream domestic violence organizations," Newman said.

He said Straus' conclusion that young women are hitting men more is not surprising, and other research has indicated the same thing. Newman wonders if women who hit men are told it is excusable because they are acting in self-defense or because of built-up anger."Have we sort of created a dynamic by providing one gender with excuses for their violent behavior while on the other hand providing the other gender with all the blame?" he asked.

Newman says the preconceived notions of who hits who in partner relationships is problematic for his organizations in terms of securing funding, since most federal dollars for domestic violence projects are guaranteed by the Violence Against Women Act. He also said women have an easier time receiving restraining orders against men, though there is no legal difference that makes that the case.

Others close to domestic violence are skeptical that Straus' recent findings capture the whole picture. Pam Haggarty, executive director of A Safe Place, a domestic violence shelter and support service based in Portsmouth, Rochester, and Salem, said their shelters see about 6 to 7 percent males each year. But even so, she cannot deny that domestic violence is overwhelmingly a man versus woman issue, particularly when the nature of the violence is ongoing and used as a controlling mechanism. She says Straus' research does not clarify this distinction."The information doesn't necessarily give you the impact of what that violence is on someone. It doesn't really clarify whether it's violence that's being used to control someone, so it would be hard to draw conclusions from it," Haggarty said.Haggarty does acknowledge there could be more men affected by domestic violence that are too ashamed to seek help."Society has set men up in a position where it's hard for them to admit they're being abused. We assume there are certainly more out there," Haggarty said.Even with disagreements on the nature of domestic violence, most who frequently deal with its consequences are happy to serve whoever is in need."The main message to me is we want to try to stop abuse from happening period. It's not so much is it this person or that person," Haggarty said. Educational ventures made by domestic violence groups are typically gender-neutral."What we're trying to do is get out into the schools and help kids understand what is normal and healthy behavior in the relationship and what isn't so they can see the signs of what's happening. From somebody constantly calling another to keep track of them and things far worse than that," Haggarty said.

Though SAFE-NH serves more men than women, it is because they reach out to those underserved populations. The focus is everyone who is affected by abuse, Newman says."We help women just as quickly as we help men," Newman said. "We need to really start looking at this stuff and taking it out of the text of a gender issue and making it a human issue."

Dating violence study: More males are victims Portsmouth Herald News, NH - Jun 4, 2006 ... The founding executive director of the New Hampshire branch of Stop Abuse for Everyone organization, Lee Newman, agreed with Straus that a problem with unequal ...

Cayman Net News

Men suffer abuse by women Cayman Net News, Cayman Islands - May 27, 2006 ... issued this alert about women abusing men, Cayman’s Crisis Centre’s Estella Scott is pointing out that even though the Centre does get abused men calling in ...

This article in an Ohio Newspaper is an example of the mainstream domestic violence industry's attempt to cover up the truth and fill the public with misinformation. It's to bad that the reporter in this situation didn't contact us directly to find out what our experience here in NH has been considering that we were mentioned in the article...but of course not by name! We wouldn't want anyone to be able to contact us directly for the truth , now would we??

We are now more often hearing the fully funded DV programs making mention that there are "some" male victims...but then they always add that they are "alleged victims",or that the increased arrests of women are due to the laws that are flawed,that more men are reporting because they are trying to "play the system that was designed to protect women" and on and on and on.

VAWA may in fact make mention that men should also be served by these agencies etc. but in fact they have set up the process so as to exclude programs for men.

It would wise for reporters to get all sides of the story before going public with their articles, it may keep them from being embarrassed and ashamed of their bias when the truth about domestic violence finally is verified!

I wonder sometimes how the women and their allies responsible for this discrimination can look into the eyes of their sons,brothers,grandsons and male friends and not be ashamed of their actions and attitudes!

Stop Abuse For Everyone is our name and our mission...how can anyone find fault with that or argue against it?

Please read this article and respond to the reporter or the Editor with your thoughts.

Thank you ...
Take care and be SAFE,
Lee Newman
Executive Director: SAFE-NH
Stop Abuse For Everyone-New Hampshire

Those in opposition to these findings are comprised of employees and supporters of The NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence as well as those from their Coalition Member Agencies, like Sexual Support Services in Portsmouth NH.

This should be no surprise as they have a vested interest in perpetrating the attitudes that domestic violence is a gender issue rather than a human issue.

As is obvious in this article they continue to try and excuse the behavior of violent women by blaming the male victim for provoking a violent reaction from their partner.

These "activists" make a good living from keeping things status quo and regardless of many researchers besides Straus coming up with similar conclusions they continue to seek out ways to discredit this type of valid research in order to continue to be biased against male victims to the detriment of both men and women.

If these organizations really cared about ending domestic violence, they would pay attention to this information and react appropriately by welcoming as colleagues, those of us who assist ALL victims, particularly the under-served populations which include heterosexual men.

Instead, they continue to excuse violence perpetrated by women,even as they watch violent girls becoming more prevalent in our society. Might this new trend regarding increased violence by girls be a result of many years of excusing violent women while ignoring the plight of THEIR victims?

There is much to consider regarding the future of violent relationships and it's impact on our communities.

Lee Newman:
Executive Director: SAFE-NH
Stop Abuse For Everyone- New Hampshire
http://www.SAFE-NH.org

A 32-nation study of violence against dating partners by university partners found that about a third had been violent, and most incidents of partner violence involve violence by both the man and woman, according to Murray Straus, founder and co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. The second largest category was couples where the female partner was the only one to carry about physical attacks, not the male partner.

In the paper, Straus calls for an end to the focus on men as the only perpetrators of dating violence, saying the refusal to recognize the multi-causal nature of the problem is hampering the effort to end domestic violence and ignoring half the perpetrators. As recently as December 2005, the National Institute of Justice refused to consider applications for funding that dealt with male victims.

“Changes in policy that acknowledge men are not the only perpetrators of partner violence are needed immediately,” Straus said. “It is time to make the prevention and treatment effort one that is aimed at ending all family violence, including spanking children, not just violence against women.”

Straus is the author or co-author of more than 200 publications, including "Beating the Devil Out Of Them: Corporal Punishment By American Parents and Its Effects on Children." More information on the International Dating Violence Study and papers reporting results are available at
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/

SAFE-NH is encouraged that such an expert in the field of family violence has verified what we as direct service providers to victims of intimate partner and family violence have been experiencing.

We hope that Dr. Straus's work will help to change perspectives so that these issues will be seen as human issues and not issues of gender. We hope so for the sake of men and women today and their children who will be the men and women of tomorrow!

Lee Newman
Executive Director: SAFE-NH
Stop Abuse For Everyone-New Hampshire

This article features Stanley Green, a speaker for Stop Abuse For Everyone:

St. George Daily Spectrum, UT - May 15, 2006 ... closed doors. Battered men are coming forward more these days, said Roxanna Finnerty, coordinator of Victims Services. "Men are ...

Post Chronicle - Apr 3, 2006 by Press Release. April 03/06/Rockville, MD - When Stanley Green's wife beat him over the head with a heavy blunt object, causing ...

CNN ran a story on abused men April 6th. A pretty good article. I did not see the segment on TV.

The first safe house in Wales for male victims of domestic abuse is set to open in Powys.

The three-bedroom refuge officially opens on Friday, although its exact location is being kept a secret.

Set up by Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre (MFCC), an increase in inquiries from men sparked plans for the home.

SAFE Speaker Stanley Green in the news:

Former engineer Stanley Green said his wife dislocated his ribs and gave him chronic respiratory problems after she bloodied him with a blunt object in a parking lot one day. Threatened with arrest after his wife claimed he was stealing the car, Green said he received no help from any domestic abuse groups after he called them. They claimed that they were only trained to help women.

''The judge laughed at the police and injury reports [during the trial],'' Green said.

Green said he was infuriated that he did not receive any help because he did not fit the standard female demographic of most victims. After the trial, his ex-wife received sole custody of their children, he said.

''She crippled me financially,'' he said. ''Since the divorce, I've been living on less than $10,000 a year.''

Green said he is now a victim's advocate for Stop Abuse for Everyone, Inc.

''I would've paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to the government if they didn't do what they did to me -- empowered my abuser,'' Green said.

'I went frantic, punching him'

By Sophie Goodchild, Chief Reporter

Published: 13 November 2005

For centuries, women have been stereotyped as the passive victims of violence and aggression. Yet experts are now warning that record numbers of men are being physically abused by their stressed- out wives and girlfriends.

New figures show that the number of calls to domestic violence helplines from male victims has more than doubled over the past five years. And now one of the world's leading feminist journals will investigate the issue of male abuse for the first time in its history: the Psychology of Women Quarterly will devote a whole edition to research on violent women and their behaviour towards men.

It would be nice if they just mandated that all services be required regardless of what type of person they are... Still, it's nice to see some exposure for GLBT victims!

Legislation has been introduced in the California Assembly to combat domestic abuse in same-sex relationships.

Few studies have been done on the issue of abuse within gay households but it is believed to be as widespread as among opposite-sex relationships.

Last year the Assembly held a series of special legislative hearings that explored the problem of same sex domestic abuse and ways the Legislature might work to address it. 

The legislation, introduced by Assemblymember Rebecca Cohn (D-Saratoga) would establish the
Equality in Prevention and Services for Domestic Abuse Fund, a continuously appropriated fund to develop and support education and services specific to LGBT domestic violence.

The St Neots Abuse Project (SNAP) successfully campaigned for a safe house for women fleeing domestic violence - now it wants more support for men.